Saying Goodbye

Recently, I had to make the most difficult decision of my life thus far. The thought of having to say goodbye after 5 years, tied my heart and stomach in knots so tight I thought I might suffocate. Hurting someone, anyone, intentionally is a practice I VERY strictly avoid, but to know I had to hurt someone that I care so deeply about was torturous. And all of that was before we even said goodbye. Normally, I would opt to take the bullet to save their hurt, but that would end up hurting us both worse in the long run. In the aftermath, I have felt like someone has picked me up by my feet, shaken me, and then dropped me in a dark, dense fog, leaving me to blindly wander and turn in circles to find my way, and yet, I also feel optimistic, even if it’s feeble for the time being. I have so much love in my heart for him, and for the time we spent together. I am truly heartbroken, for the both of us. But to use his words: “If all the love and pain I feel was for the wrong person, I can’t imagine how it will feel for the right person.” I do believe things will work out, they always do, and I can’t wait to look back on this situation with more understanding, and an even deeper appreciation for all the things I learned from him.



Tyson, I will always hold you in my heart.